Anyone who has ever had to deal with an association – be it a non-profit or chamber of commerce – knows the muddiest, most inane government politics involving a run for county janitor just can’t compare.

Associations can be petty, but still full of self-important officers who nonetheless kowtow to their members, especially important ones who - without the association – wouldn’t matter. Workers may be little more than clerical, yet paid relative fortunes – namely ones who have carved out special butt kissing niches.

Most unimpressively, associations cultivate spineless individuals able to make decisions slightly weightier than which sweet to choose today from reception’s candy jar.

Decisions invariably involve questions beyond the periphery of the organization’s named mission, specifically: Will this help us net more members? Will we have to pay for this? Will this offend anyone? And, of course, “You’re PREGNANT? - you’re KIDDING?” (Question asked after fetus-filled Bonnie, in her 20th trimester, announces she’ll be going on maternity leave for two years and will name a replacement, acting VP soon.)

Mission be damned. If an association officer isn’t protecting his turf with a sinister flurry of emails – often to the adjacent cube dweller – he might as well go home to attend to his mild headache. Better yet, the emails can wait until the day after tomorrow – or pending recovery – whichever is later.

Although the number of interest groups and organizations in China still pale in comparison to the West’s, China is getting her fair share of international association impotence.

A friend of mine, Robin Adams, who is heading up the Small Medium & Entrepreneurial Enterprises (SMEE) conference on Friday, January 16 in Beijing (which looks exciting by the way and we’re a sponsor – click here for a 30% discount ), wrote me an email this morning that demonstrates how associations create not perfect storms of power, but imperfect trickles of it in China:

Back in the very beginning of December, I invited [an organization] to partner with us on the SMEE conference. We had a long conversation about the program, the dates and much of the details of our theme on business development. They replied that since they were planning their own SME events, they didn’t want to collaborate with us.

Today a friend forwarded an email on to me inviting me to attend [the organization’s] event. It is also on Friday 16th January, just as the SMEE conference is. So I called them up and asked them to move their event to another date (they only have two speakers whereas we have more than 30 now).

After a conversation with me, and some on their own internally, [the organization] has refused to change the date of their event - even though it’s on the same day as SMEE, and even though the subject they are presenting is one of the subjects at the SMEE conference. It seems so strange to me that such a coincidence could have happened.

Mr. Adams is not necessarily an innocent association bystander. He has been chair of a certain chamber of commerce’s membership committee. We’ll keep its name out of print here as it’s not individual organizations that should be under attack, but the prevailing weak-boned politics that all associations encompass by nature.

The inherent problem with the association is that while it has plenty of power to throw around – thanks to members with deep pockets or true political clout – no one has the mandate to throw.

Executive directors – while well paid and organizational leaders – may have to seek counsel from presidents and board members, who themselves carry little weight in day-to-day organizational affairs. Donut giving may be unimportant, but it is not unimportant in the affairs of associations where low-browed techniques are important to cultivate political connections among mindless semi-masses of workers who may be involved in creating a committee that raises funds for a new electronic office calendar that won’t work.

Let’s not kid ourselves: these top directors aren’t MBA types. Otherwise, they’d be involved in the more insidiously striking, slightly higher-paying and higher-status political game of corporations.

In associations, email flurries with words like “could” and “would” to indicate direction are abundant, because without real decision makers, decisions cannot be made.

So, how do you survive engaging an international association – in China or elsewhere - for some “mutual” benefit?

1) Prepare for the long engagement. Do not expect a decision to be made overnight, but one may be made over two years.
2) Slow and steady wins the office popularity contest. Outside-the-box thinking won’t be encouraged. Persistent in-the-box thinking will.
3) Don’t be a hero. Say whatever is in your best interest, but rephrase so that it sounds like it falls under the umbrella of the organizational mission.
4) Kiss butt, but don’t expect immediate rewards. Imagine that butt to be frozen, and when your lips press against it, they’re stuck. Maintain that position. It might pay off, it might not. Brace for heavy wind.
5) Don’t forget to get something in return. You’ll never get as much as you give, but try, try again. Exactly twice more, then stop and consider quitting.
6) Prepare to be stabbed in the back at some point. Rapid office turnover – thanks to an office environment brimming with PMS - creates political chaos as connections are broken and created anew. You may be golden now, but you’ll be bloodied soon enough. Bleed, but don’t die if you want your engagement to last.

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